2009年12月25日金曜日
Guess what?
She bought a scanner about four months ago, but she didn't know how to put it together, and so it sat in a box. The box sat in the corner and it gathered dust. The dust was ninety percent human skin particles. The scanner from inside its box possessed some rudimentary awareness. It began to scan the dust, and, in its way, to build a conceptual model of a human being, although it had no knowledge of what it was that it was scanning. And so, in this forgotten corner, magic was happening. Like always. Yay!
2009年12月9日水曜日
2009年11月27日金曜日
His shadow is on your mind
Toby opened the door and stepped inside. He didn't look around and he didn't check to see if anyone was following him. Someone was following him.
Toby went to the desk in the corner of the room and from the drawer he took out a small photo album. The album had many pages of photos, and he turned to one page in particular. The photo showed a man and a woman in front of a Ferris wheel. He slipped it the photo out of the album and looked a the back of it, and then he put it back in the album, and replaced the album in the drawer. His every movement was watched.
Toby left the room and went back down the hall. He left the building and headed for the bank. Using a bank card, he punched in the account number and the PIN number and then he withdrew some money. He used the money to buy groceries for a week. The groceries he chose weren't going to make for very interesting meals. Toby didn't mind because they weren't for him. They were for his mother.
He took the groceries home to his mother. She was sick in bed. He left the groceries on the kitchen table so she could put them away later. He played video games for an hour on the home console, and then he went out again, even though it was getting dark out. This is when he first noticed that someone was watching him.
It made him nervous that the person walking behind him always stayed behind him, no matter how many turns he made. He went around the block, twice, but the person kept trailing him. Toby started to sweat a little. He went into a coffeeshop and ordered a piece of particularly delicious pecan pie that was served with a slightly cold crust and a slightly warm filling that had layers of textures ranging from slightly crunchy to ever so custardy-smooth. No one followed him into the shop, and the pie was so good that he soon forgot about being followed. In fact, he forgot about everything, even his name, because the pie had a narcotic in it and he passed into a drugged slumber.
The proprietor of the coffeeshop helped the others take Toby into the back. They had a large canvas sack that they stuffed him into, and then they loaded the sack into the back of a van. The van drove off and the proprietor never knew what became of Toby after that. It was something that he wondered about even years later. What had he helped do? He didn't know, but he felt proud.
Toby went to the desk in the corner of the room and from the drawer he took out a small photo album. The album had many pages of photos, and he turned to one page in particular. The photo showed a man and a woman in front of a Ferris wheel. He slipped it the photo out of the album and looked a the back of it, and then he put it back in the album, and replaced the album in the drawer. His every movement was watched.
Toby left the room and went back down the hall. He left the building and headed for the bank. Using a bank card, he punched in the account number and the PIN number and then he withdrew some money. He used the money to buy groceries for a week. The groceries he chose weren't going to make for very interesting meals. Toby didn't mind because they weren't for him. They were for his mother.
He took the groceries home to his mother. She was sick in bed. He left the groceries on the kitchen table so she could put them away later. He played video games for an hour on the home console, and then he went out again, even though it was getting dark out. This is when he first noticed that someone was watching him.
It made him nervous that the person walking behind him always stayed behind him, no matter how many turns he made. He went around the block, twice, but the person kept trailing him. Toby started to sweat a little. He went into a coffeeshop and ordered a piece of particularly delicious pecan pie that was served with a slightly cold crust and a slightly warm filling that had layers of textures ranging from slightly crunchy to ever so custardy-smooth. No one followed him into the shop, and the pie was so good that he soon forgot about being followed. In fact, he forgot about everything, even his name, because the pie had a narcotic in it and he passed into a drugged slumber.
The proprietor of the coffeeshop helped the others take Toby into the back. They had a large canvas sack that they stuffed him into, and then they loaded the sack into the back of a van. The van drove off and the proprietor never knew what became of Toby after that. It was something that he wondered about even years later. What had he helped do? He didn't know, but he felt proud.
You Know...
I never looked away
I never closed my eyes
I never turned my head
From your wonderful thighs
It was all right there
You were all I could see
You were my everything
You were the world to me
I never closed my eyes
I never turned my head
From your wonderful thighs
It was all right there
You were all I could see
You were my everything
You were the world to me
2009年11月23日月曜日
On Physical Education
体育について考えていました。
子供の時から体育は一番苦手な教科で、一番イヤでした。残念でした。体育はとても大事なことと思うから。
もし私が理想的な体育課程を作ることになるならば、どんなものを作るかな。
人間は様々な考え方があるのですが、人は自分の考えを自分に示すとイメージや音や感じで表すもの。何かを覚えようとしたら、頭の中に映像的な考えをみたりする人もいるし、声や音を聞こえたりする人もいるし、触覚的に感じたりする人もいます。実は皆がぜんぶをしているんですが、だいたいどれかの方が強く使います。もしあなたはイメージで考えやすい人であれば、目で見る事の方が習いやすくなります。日本の教育制度は今そのイメージ的な生徒に向かって教えている。耳で習う人もだいたいよく出きると思います。でも、触覚的な人たちが今の制度に捨てられているんじゃないですかのような気がします。この様な人たちは物を触って分かるなので、机で座って、黒板を見て何かを覚えようとするのはそうとう難しいことです。頭が悪いというのは全く関係ありません。とても頭がいい人が多い、ただ情報の分析仕方が目で中心していません。こういう人たちはスポーツや美術で強い可能性が高いです。イメージで分かる人たちは逆にスポーツなどが弱いかもしれません（もちろん、決まっていないことです。これはすごく一般的な話です）。
体育に戻って、体の意識はどんな人にも大切なことです。体と心がきつく結ばれて、お互いに影響を与えています。体を動いて、映像子たちが自分の事をいっぱい習えて、価値が高い。触覚的な子たちが落ち着いて、ストレスや緊張感を出せます。
だから、私の選択なら、どうすればいい？
ははは、分からん!
だけど、最初は舞いや動きや創造的なあそびでバランスと強さを作って、解剖学的制度を教えるかな。マッサージ仕方も受け方も教えて、自営も効果的な動き方もおしえる。他の人のからだを尊敬すること。物の運び方というのも、パルクールも、受身も、パントマイムも、いろいろな踊り方を教え場いいと思います。一人で、団体で、競争と協力を全部教えばいいと思います。自分の体も心もひろく表せるためにする。
ということを考えています。
子供の時から体育は一番苦手な教科で、一番イヤでした。残念でした。体育はとても大事なことと思うから。
もし私が理想的な体育課程を作ることになるならば、どんなものを作るかな。
人間は様々な考え方があるのですが、人は自分の考えを自分に示すとイメージや音や感じで表すもの。何かを覚えようとしたら、頭の中に映像的な考えをみたりする人もいるし、声や音を聞こえたりする人もいるし、触覚的に感じたりする人もいます。実は皆がぜんぶをしているんですが、だいたいどれかの方が強く使います。もしあなたはイメージで考えやすい人であれば、目で見る事の方が習いやすくなります。日本の教育制度は今そのイメージ的な生徒に向かって教えている。耳で習う人もだいたいよく出きると思います。でも、触覚的な人たちが今の制度に捨てられているんじゃないですかのような気がします。この様な人たちは物を触って分かるなので、机で座って、黒板を見て何かを覚えようとするのはそうとう難しいことです。頭が悪いというのは全く関係ありません。とても頭がいい人が多い、ただ情報の分析仕方が目で中心していません。こういう人たちはスポーツや美術で強い可能性が高いです。イメージで分かる人たちは逆にスポーツなどが弱いかもしれません（もちろん、決まっていないことです。これはすごく一般的な話です）。
体育に戻って、体の意識はどんな人にも大切なことです。体と心がきつく結ばれて、お互いに影響を与えています。体を動いて、映像子たちが自分の事をいっぱい習えて、価値が高い。触覚的な子たちが落ち着いて、ストレスや緊張感を出せます。
だから、私の選択なら、どうすればいい？
ははは、分からん!
だけど、最初は舞いや動きや創造的なあそびでバランスと強さを作って、解剖学的制度を教えるかな。マッサージ仕方も受け方も教えて、自営も効果的な動き方もおしえる。他の人のからだを尊敬すること。物の運び方というのも、パルクールも、受身も、パントマイムも、いろいろな踊り方を教え場いいと思います。一人で、団体で、競争と協力を全部教えばいいと思います。自分の体も心もひろく表せるためにする。
ということを考えています。
2009年11月22日日曜日
A very good girl
As the girls form their own club upstairs with the boys, you lie on the ground beside the bed and consider the ceiling and all its irregular cracks that fan through the lime green paint of an older generation, and in the background come the sounds of drums and a muffled roar of someone else's guitars going through the paces, just like everything else seems to.
How tiring.
You are not asking for much, you say to yourself, and wonder how it can seem so impossible to him. An agreement, just like any that you'd make, an arrangement of fidelity, a promise that you keep, is all. You are no stranger to temptation. Boys approach and speculate with eyes, words and gestures, and many of them are pleasant enough, but you have made a decision that you stand by. The temptation doesn't matter, not to you. How is that hard? Is he really so weak, or is he just wired so differently that he can't see it?
These thoughts flitter through the blades of the whirling ceiling fan as the minutes of the afternoon stretch out on the clock ticking on the headboard. You could never abide that thing. How he could sleep with it making so much noise is a mystery to you.
Footsteps come up the hallway and the door opens and the breeze is cool on your skin.
"What are you still doing here?" His voice breaks the air, uncouth and certainly bitter.
It seems obvious enough not to require an answer. You are lying on your back and looking at the ceiling.
"Didn't you say it was through? Then it's through, isn't it?"
Moving is such a bother. Let him live around you while you just stay here.
"Come on, get up. The others will be finishing up soon. You don't want them to see you like this, do you?"
Like you could give a shit. They have certainly been of no help. Damon and Charlene, it's like they were trying to set him up with other girls, just to rankle you. The rest were complicit. They're no friends of yours. So what do you care what they think? But the thoughts do get you to turn your head, and once you do that, your arm starts to move, and before you can do more than complain, you are already getting up.
It's not been fun, you start to say, but don't. Where's your bra, anyway? Half-buried in the blankets, you fish it out and put it on. It's certainly the most awkward piece of clothing, and the one that makes you feel the most vulnerable while putting it on. He watches you with interest that he tries to cover with disdain. He's too confused and angry to really be aroused, anyway.
And, anyway, it's over.
The rest of of your clothes go on more easily, and then it's your bag on the chair. As you dress, all these things you could say swirl and bubble around in your head. Some of them are sentimental, or reconciliatory, and others are abusive and hateful. Some are just dumb. Forget it. The silence is better, probably, than the chance of misfired last words.
You walk past him at the door, slip by sideways so your shoulder doesn't brush him and don't look back as he trails you through the hall and downstairs. More footsteps are coming from above. The band is finished and the new club is coming back to the apartment. You just missed them. You make it to the front door, down the steps and to the street.
It's three blocks to the subway. What a horrible city. Fix your hair, you tell yourself. You probably look like hell. After all, you're released from that promise now. You might meet someone you'd care to talk to. You just might meet Mr. Right.
How tiring.
You are not asking for much, you say to yourself, and wonder how it can seem so impossible to him. An agreement, just like any that you'd make, an arrangement of fidelity, a promise that you keep, is all. You are no stranger to temptation. Boys approach and speculate with eyes, words and gestures, and many of them are pleasant enough, but you have made a decision that you stand by. The temptation doesn't matter, not to you. How is that hard? Is he really so weak, or is he just wired so differently that he can't see it?
These thoughts flitter through the blades of the whirling ceiling fan as the minutes of the afternoon stretch out on the clock ticking on the headboard. You could never abide that thing. How he could sleep with it making so much noise is a mystery to you.
Footsteps come up the hallway and the door opens and the breeze is cool on your skin.
"What are you still doing here?" His voice breaks the air, uncouth and certainly bitter.
It seems obvious enough not to require an answer. You are lying on your back and looking at the ceiling.
"Didn't you say it was through? Then it's through, isn't it?"
Moving is such a bother. Let him live around you while you just stay here.
"Come on, get up. The others will be finishing up soon. You don't want them to see you like this, do you?"
Like you could give a shit. They have certainly been of no help. Damon and Charlene, it's like they were trying to set him up with other girls, just to rankle you. The rest were complicit. They're no friends of yours. So what do you care what they think? But the thoughts do get you to turn your head, and once you do that, your arm starts to move, and before you can do more than complain, you are already getting up.
It's not been fun, you start to say, but don't. Where's your bra, anyway? Half-buried in the blankets, you fish it out and put it on. It's certainly the most awkward piece of clothing, and the one that makes you feel the most vulnerable while putting it on. He watches you with interest that he tries to cover with disdain. He's too confused and angry to really be aroused, anyway.
And, anyway, it's over.
The rest of of your clothes go on more easily, and then it's your bag on the chair. As you dress, all these things you could say swirl and bubble around in your head. Some of them are sentimental, or reconciliatory, and others are abusive and hateful. Some are just dumb. Forget it. The silence is better, probably, than the chance of misfired last words.
You walk past him at the door, slip by sideways so your shoulder doesn't brush him and don't look back as he trails you through the hall and downstairs. More footsteps are coming from above. The band is finished and the new club is coming back to the apartment. You just missed them. You make it to the front door, down the steps and to the street.
It's three blocks to the subway. What a horrible city. Fix your hair, you tell yourself. You probably look like hell. After all, you're released from that promise now. You might meet someone you'd care to talk to. You just might meet Mr. Right.
2009年11月2日月曜日
Pause
You have to think about things before you can write them down. I haven't been thinking about things so much, so I haven't written anything in particular. But I will again rise from these clammy waters to stand once more beneath mud-stained skies, and look, far, for you. Because you know I haven't given up, and I cannot disappoint you. I cannot let a little thing like death stay my hand. Nor shall I. My hand will again know your flesh.
2009年10月29日木曜日
2009年10月20日火曜日
悲観
In the last minutes before the dawn, they lay together, arms entwined against the cold licks of wind that coiled over the hill crest and blew scattered leaves against them like skeleton fingers. It was a struggle to stay awake even in that great discomfort, and only the dread of the coming morning kept them aware enough to keep their eyes open. Some love doesn't come easily. The thought of the unkind future approaching transfixed them. There was no more time to run, and no more will to lie or hide what had grown up between them, despite the costs it brought with it. There would be no more tomorrows for them. They were both certain of it. Even the most forgiving would not cross some lines. Whatever force that kindled love between them, be it a blessing for the joy that it brought, had at the same time cast them both into a descending spiral that would culminate here, in only a few moments more, in flames. Neither feared so much for themselves, but the thought of the other's pain was beyond bearing. It was the best they could do to comfort each other now, and promise to share even these last moments unto the very end. And as the air grew lighter, highlighting the cold even more, they drew closer, and kissed, sharing their breath. With the light, fear and weariness fell away. They turned their heads and looked to the swelling burn on the horizon. It promised so much. Then the first rays of the sun burst across the country, and washed the night out one more time. And the two lovers were doomed.
2009年10月16日金曜日
On the conceptualization of parts of speech
名詞というものは便利な煉瓦みたい言葉である。
動詞は汽車のエンジンの様に文の意味を運んでくる言葉である。
形容詞は派手に胸をチラッと見せる若手女優の様な言葉である。
副詞は事務所から出たいのでいつもかってに他の人の仕事に手を出すオヤジみたいな言葉である。というか、場合によって、とても便利か、非常にうるさい。
前置詞はうどんです。
代名詞はネットで名前や顔を隠すブログを書いて、自分の人生よりステキな人の冒険を批評するオタクの様な言葉である。
冠詞はうるさいほどいるいとこの頭がよくなさそうな子みたいな言葉である。
助動詞は福神漬けのような言葉である。
強意語は昔アンフェタミンをやりすぎた叔父さんみたいな言葉である。
接続詞は好きな番組の間のCMのような言葉である。
お前は賢いので分かるでしょう。じゃあ、論文を書きなさい。
動詞は汽車のエンジンの様に文の意味を運んでくる言葉である。
形容詞は派手に胸をチラッと見せる若手女優の様な言葉である。
副詞は事務所から出たいのでいつもかってに他の人の仕事に手を出すオヤジみたいな言葉である。というか、場合によって、とても便利か、非常にうるさい。
前置詞はうどんです。
代名詞はネットで名前や顔を隠すブログを書いて、自分の人生よりステキな人の冒険を批評するオタクの様な言葉である。
冠詞はうるさいほどいるいとこの頭がよくなさそうな子みたいな言葉である。
助動詞は福神漬けのような言葉である。
強意語は昔アンフェタミンをやりすぎた叔父さんみたいな言葉である。
接続詞は好きな番組の間のCMのような言葉である。
お前は賢いので分かるでしょう。じゃあ、論文を書きなさい。
2009年10月11日日曜日
ちょっと説明します
もちろん彼は夢と現実を区別できなかった、だから彼の話を聞くと彼の意味はペンキのように混ぜられるということを頭に置いた方がいい、と分かていても実際に彼と会ったとき、何か期待はずれで、かれはとても元気ないい気の人なので、すぐ彼の話をよく集中して、あぁ、なるほどと思って、自分の考え方がかなり代わり始めることにするところだったけど、彼の体のまわりから、小さな色のらせんが渦ってぱちくってしまって、その辺の交通の音はコオロギの声になって、ベートーヴェンの音楽をながして私の名前を叫び出すことを気がついたら、多分この人ともう話さない方がいいのかなと思って、ゆっくり、こっそり去って花畑みたいになろうとしたが、すぐ警察に見つけられて、このところに連れてきてしまいました。です。
2009年10月6日火曜日
The Dead boy Society
Everyone in the Society has
a dead boy
in their arms.
They hold them close
and wail
mourning what was lost.
When they get tired,
they all go out to dinner
and sometimes a movie.
2009年10月5日月曜日
獲物の文句
そのゲームがやっと終わった。いちねんほどまえかって、やっていたがくやしくてしばらくやめた。きのうのよるは九ヶ月ぶりにもういちどためして、かった。くやしいといった、ね。ゲームはむずかしいからくやしかったというわけではなく、ゲームはもったいないすぎるから。映像はきれいだった（くらくて見づらかったけど）。おとやおんがくもままよかった。コンセプトははなしいがいとてもおもしろかった（はなしはかんたんすぎて、ものたりなかったけど）。エイリアンのうちゅうせんにじゅうりょくがひねられて、ポータルでくうかんとじげんをこえて、デザインをめぐってかのうがいっぱいあった。でもほとんどそうでもなかった。他の人の意見を読んだら、挑戦レベルは低いという文句が多かったけど、私にはそれが別にいいです。主人公が死ねない。ゲームを負けることができない。それはいいかどうかしらないけど、かまわなかった。それより、デザインによって、すべては一直線で、ゲーム内は同じことばかり繰り返している。敵が現れて、殺す。武器を取って、スイッチを操って、重力のパッズルを解いて進む。この最後、進むこと、は時々しにくい。映像が暗くて、どこ行けばいいか混乱しやすい。電気も何もなくて、ライターしか使えない(ライターがあつくなるから短い間だけ使える）。究極のところ、そのゲームは残念でした。アイデアとして、よいのがいっぱいだったが、本当のﾌﾟﾚｲは全然足りなかった。
2009年10月2日金曜日
かのじょはおそかったから
早く、と言おうとしたところ、そとからこえがきた。そのこえはにんげんののどからきたものではなくて、うみのそこからあがってきたあおじろいさかなのようのものののどからのきがした。いえのドアがあかれて、何かがはいってきた。いえのなかからどろどろになったくずをあるくようなあしおとがみみにきた。からだじゅうはとりはだであせかいたおれがかのじょのうでをつよくつかんでしんだつもりでいこうとした。あのいえからぶじにでて、あんぜんににげたといいたいんだけど、げんじつはそんなにあまくなかった。じつは、そのけいけんはあまりひどくて、もうかきたくなくなった。
それじゃ
それじゃ
2009年10月1日木曜日
On Aging
Everyone gets older, if they're lucky, but many people dislike the idea.
I wonder why? Oh, I've heard all the arguments about the deterioration of the body and the mind, and I'm not going to dispute that, but I think that there are aspects to aging that are ignored to the detriment of everyone who must do so (that is, age).
I have this idea which I got from a Life in Hell strip with Will and Abe. I looked for link but I couldn't find one. Because you are so enterprising, I'm sure you can find it for yourself. In it, one of the boys is having his fifth (or fourth) birthday and his brother tells him all the new things that are waiting for him. It is a simple idea, but it made an impression on me.
We, as humans, have various abilities and powers. Each stage of our lives gives us new ones. Many of these are simple-seeming, such as being able to choose your own bedtime or buy your own food or clothes, or they may seem abstract, like being able to look across broader stretches of time, but they all have value.
One young woman whom I spoke to said she did not want to get older because she enjoyed dancing in clubs now (at 17) and that she would not be able to when she was older. Without calling her foolish, I asked her if she enjoyed dancing in clubs when she was 6; she said no. I asked if she had wanted to dance in clubs at that age; again, no. Her life had not been empty due to a dearth of clubbing; it had been focused on other things. I suggested that when she turns 30, she will have gained a new set of interests that may be even more compelling than clubbing. The change is not a loss.
I believe that each age affords us a set of abilities that grant us access to the world and experience; as we grow, we gain new abilities to explore. The old ones we often leave behind, and this is something of a shame, particularly when we forget.
Although I'm not being totally literal about this, I believe that we have access to the abilities that we had as infants, abilities that include a sense of shameless curiosity, and the power of first experience. In my view, an adult, a true adult, is someone who has full access to and control of all of their abilities from all of the various stages of their life. This is something that I hope to achieve.
I wonder why? Oh, I've heard all the arguments about the deterioration of the body and the mind, and I'm not going to dispute that, but I think that there are aspects to aging that are ignored to the detriment of everyone who must do so (that is, age).
I have this idea which I got from a Life in Hell strip with Will and Abe. I looked for link but I couldn't find one. Because you are so enterprising, I'm sure you can find it for yourself. In it, one of the boys is having his fifth (or fourth) birthday and his brother tells him all the new things that are waiting for him. It is a simple idea, but it made an impression on me.
We, as humans, have various abilities and powers. Each stage of our lives gives us new ones. Many of these are simple-seeming, such as being able to choose your own bedtime or buy your own food or clothes, or they may seem abstract, like being able to look across broader stretches of time, but they all have value.
One young woman whom I spoke to said she did not want to get older because she enjoyed dancing in clubs now (at 17) and that she would not be able to when she was older. Without calling her foolish, I asked her if she enjoyed dancing in clubs when she was 6; she said no. I asked if she had wanted to dance in clubs at that age; again, no. Her life had not been empty due to a dearth of clubbing; it had been focused on other things. I suggested that when she turns 30, she will have gained a new set of interests that may be even more compelling than clubbing. The change is not a loss.
I believe that each age affords us a set of abilities that grant us access to the world and experience; as we grow, we gain new abilities to explore. The old ones we often leave behind, and this is something of a shame, particularly when we forget.
Although I'm not being totally literal about this, I believe that we have access to the abilities that we had as infants, abilities that include a sense of shameless curiosity, and the power of first experience. In my view, an adult, a true adult, is someone who has full access to and control of all of their abilities from all of the various stages of their life. This is something that I hope to achieve.
2009年9月30日水曜日
2009年9月25日金曜日
2009年9月18日金曜日
On Peace
One of the reasons why I think we don't see very much peace in the world, today and throughout history, is that we don't really have a good definition of it. Looking at Wikipedia and the ever-handy Answers.com, peace is defined as the absence of hostility, a time with no war, freedom from quarrels and disagreement, and inner contentment. There is a further meaning of growth and prosperity.
The problem I have with this is that peace is largely defined as an absence rather than as a thing itself. How can we hope to achieve an absence and hold it with any consistency? Can you even imagine what the world would look like in this state? Images of peace in the popular imagination come down to pastoral scenes, montages of children playing and smiling faces; they are nice scenes, but they are not what our stories are about. We view it as a kind of unchanging state, with nothing of note happening. It is only a lull between passing storms. In that form, lasting peace is against our nature, and the nature of the world. It is impossible without neutering the soul of humanity, and without taming nature to a degree that seems unlikely.
War, or conflict, is a much clearer set of ideas. Can you imagine a world at war forever? I think it's not so hard. Certainly there has been a lot of effort put into making stories that explore that sort of thing. It's not something that we want, necessarily, but it's something that we understand and flirt with. It is popular to consider it an inevitable part of human nature. Humans are beasts and beasts destroy themselves; or worse, humans are viruses that consume everything to the point of extinction and then kill themselves fighting over the remains. Whether we like the idea or not, it is a core idea of our society. From that point of view, we adore conflict and war, and revel in the pain that it brings, in the strength it requires to survive, in the glory and the pity, both ghastly and ennobling. It's all very dramatic.
War will never end while people hate it so; it will only end when people come to love and embrace peace in terms equally dramatic. Peace understood as an absence cannot be embraced because there is nothing there to engage with. Peace needs to become a vital, active, aggressive thing (see my earlier post On Violence). People need to be truly powerful and to experience their strength in their daily lives. People need to find their own dynamic purposes and to connect with each other. We often forget to mention that as much as humans destroy, we also create a good deal. We made all this. We will make something else. Peace comes from embracing human nature, not disowning it.
When peace becomes as dynamic a metaphor as war has been, one that we use to show our determination and focus of will, among many other things, then it will be easy to leave war behind and change our idea of hostility as a basic assumption in human interaction. Emotions like fear and anger are constructive powers that can lead us to overcome great obstacles when we learn to be strong.
Are you skeptical of what I'm saying? Do you see huge holes of logic? Do you have trouble seeing how this could ever be? Well, I have trouble, too, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Just because it's different from all we know of history doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means that we have to put as much energy into it as we have into war and conflict. War is only easier because we have so much practice at it. It is only inevitable because we don't do something else. Which is why peace defined as an absence will never grow; we still remain focused on war. Looking for the reasons behind war is useless. Look instead for what we want to become.
So how am I defining peace? Peace is an active process of flow (around, over and through obstacles) and aggressive creativity (at every level, from personal to global), cooperation and change. It is dynamic, exciting and unpredictable. It looks for the best result for all concerned in the present and the future (to the seventh generation?). It is concerned with the individual as the key component of the group. It has room for everyone. It is brave and adaptable to all manner of circumstances. It makes people happier just to participate, just to know that it exists.
Wow, pretty cool, huh? So how do you do that? I don't know, exactly. It's not a job for just one person. It's a shared creation. It's something that we have to define together. It requires that people trust themselves. It requires that people use their true strength. A basic supposition of peace is that everyone does their best at all times, even those whose best is pretty dreadful.
What I can do is to try and create images of this peace, to help others imagine what it could be like. That is what I want to do.
What do you want?
The problem I have with this is that peace is largely defined as an absence rather than as a thing itself. How can we hope to achieve an absence and hold it with any consistency? Can you even imagine what the world would look like in this state? Images of peace in the popular imagination come down to pastoral scenes, montages of children playing and smiling faces; they are nice scenes, but they are not what our stories are about. We view it as a kind of unchanging state, with nothing of note happening. It is only a lull between passing storms. In that form, lasting peace is against our nature, and the nature of the world. It is impossible without neutering the soul of humanity, and without taming nature to a degree that seems unlikely.
War, or conflict, is a much clearer set of ideas. Can you imagine a world at war forever? I think it's not so hard. Certainly there has been a lot of effort put into making stories that explore that sort of thing. It's not something that we want, necessarily, but it's something that we understand and flirt with. It is popular to consider it an inevitable part of human nature. Humans are beasts and beasts destroy themselves; or worse, humans are viruses that consume everything to the point of extinction and then kill themselves fighting over the remains. Whether we like the idea or not, it is a core idea of our society. From that point of view, we adore conflict and war, and revel in the pain that it brings, in the strength it requires to survive, in the glory and the pity, both ghastly and ennobling. It's all very dramatic.
War will never end while people hate it so; it will only end when people come to love and embrace peace in terms equally dramatic. Peace understood as an absence cannot be embraced because there is nothing there to engage with. Peace needs to become a vital, active, aggressive thing (see my earlier post On Violence). People need to be truly powerful and to experience their strength in their daily lives. People need to find their own dynamic purposes and to connect with each other. We often forget to mention that as much as humans destroy, we also create a good deal. We made all this. We will make something else. Peace comes from embracing human nature, not disowning it.
When peace becomes as dynamic a metaphor as war has been, one that we use to show our determination and focus of will, among many other things, then it will be easy to leave war behind and change our idea of hostility as a basic assumption in human interaction. Emotions like fear and anger are constructive powers that can lead us to overcome great obstacles when we learn to be strong.
Are you skeptical of what I'm saying? Do you see huge holes of logic? Do you have trouble seeing how this could ever be? Well, I have trouble, too, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Just because it's different from all we know of history doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means that we have to put as much energy into it as we have into war and conflict. War is only easier because we have so much practice at it. It is only inevitable because we don't do something else. Which is why peace defined as an absence will never grow; we still remain focused on war. Looking for the reasons behind war is useless. Look instead for what we want to become.
So how am I defining peace? Peace is an active process of flow (around, over and through obstacles) and aggressive creativity (at every level, from personal to global), cooperation and change. It is dynamic, exciting and unpredictable. It looks for the best result for all concerned in the present and the future (to the seventh generation?). It is concerned with the individual as the key component of the group. It has room for everyone. It is brave and adaptable to all manner of circumstances. It makes people happier just to participate, just to know that it exists.
Wow, pretty cool, huh? So how do you do that? I don't know, exactly. It's not a job for just one person. It's a shared creation. It's something that we have to define together. It requires that people trust themselves. It requires that people use their true strength. A basic supposition of peace is that everyone does their best at all times, even those whose best is pretty dreadful.
What I can do is to try and create images of this peace, to help others imagine what it could be like. That is what I want to do.
What do you want?
2009年9月17日木曜日
Everybody ukabu
知らないうちに、私は浮いた。気球のように体がボンボン天井にぶつけて、空気の流れにのった。痛くなかった。実は夢みたいに気持ちよかった。先からこうなればよかったと思いながら、部屋のやさしい呼吸に動かされた。もし詳しく考えれば、もちろん色んな苦労があるだろうが、今のうちこの変化を楽しませて。誰かが窓を開いたか、外の嵐が自ら部屋に入ろうとして、窓を開けたか、どっちか分からないが、急に空気が激しくなって風の渦に引き込まれた。その瞬間、黒い窓は食欲しか分からない口の様に開いて、浮いている私を吸い始めた。「飲み込まれれば、死ぬぞ！」知らない人の声がどこから呼び出した。死ぬのは嫌です。腕と足を広くして、窓の端で体を支えて、貪欲の奈落から自分を救った。長い間そのままでいた。どんどん風が落ち着いてきて、やっと私を放した。誰かが窓を閉めてくれたか、風が誤りのつもりで自分で窓をしめたか、どっちか分からないが、私がまたのんびりで部屋を浮き回った。気持ちのいいことだよ。気持ちのいいんだ。
2009年9月16日水曜日
無邪気野郎のケワシイ物語
彼はバカだったが、ただのバカではなく、子供さえ分かったのは彼が理解出来なかったほどりっぱなバカだった。
このきりのないバカは普通のバカの型と違って、見てみればすぐ分かるはずだった。
かれは百年登校しても変わらないバカだった。だから、この話を分かるつもりなら、彼の不吉な精神に接続しなければはいけません。
彼は普通の人々とそんなに違うなのですから。
事典で「バカ」をひいてみれば載っている定義は彼の名前と写真なのですから。
彼に触れれば、お前もバカになる可能性が高いなのですから。
今から直接に接続するので、かんぺきの純なバカの真髄を体験する準備をして下さい。
準備出来ましたか。家族にちゃんと説明しましたか。もう帰る事ができなくなるから、ね。
よし、行くぞ。
接続中…
セッ…
このきりのないバカは普通のバカの型と違って、見てみればすぐ分かるはずだった。
かれは百年登校しても変わらないバカだった。だから、この話を分かるつもりなら、彼の不吉な精神に接続しなければはいけません。
彼は普通の人々とそんなに違うなのですから。
事典で「バカ」をひいてみれば載っている定義は彼の名前と写真なのですから。
彼に触れれば、お前もバカになる可能性が高いなのですから。
今から直接に接続するので、かんぺきの純なバカの真髄を体験する準備をして下さい。
準備出来ましたか。家族にちゃんと説明しましたか。もう帰る事ができなくなるから、ね。
よし、行くぞ。
接続中…
セッ…
2009年9月14日月曜日
On Violence
Violence is a common word, but I don't think it gets properly defined. I am going to give my definition here. Here I go:
Violence is any action or behavior of any size that is performed out of a feeling of powerlessness. It is that which is done when a person has nothing else they feel they can do. It can come it the form of passing thoughts toward oneself or others, or it can be words, or physical actions. Violence is usually in the form of an attack, and it is different from aggression.
Aggression is the display of power, active movement in the world. Violence is faux-aggression, an admission of weakness on the part of the perpetrator. It carries a thrill with it, a rush of release, which is the pressure of the negative feelings releasing temporarily, but it is a temporary, hollow sensation. Truly strong people have no need of violence; they may act aggressively in the world, and they may defend themselves from violence, but it is quite a different kind of behavior.
Things like fighting or wrestling may or may not be violent depending on the emotional place where it comes from. They may be play, or a display of dominance, which are aggressive, but they only become violent when the person feels that they must hurt the other to preserve their own identity.
By this definition, violence is relatively rare in the animal kingdom. A lion killing a gazelle is not an act of violence; it is the aggressive nature of the creature. Humans hunting and killing in the same way is not violent, although I have reservations against the activity when done for sport. Fighting between animals is usually an aggressive display, and rarely does it become violent.
I realize that many people may not agree with this definition. I think it is important to distinguish between aggression and violence, because humans are aggressive creatures, and this is something we should respect about ourselves, but I do not think that we are by nature violent creatures. Violence is the result of an unnatural way of living, a way that does not acknowledge our natural aggressive needs, or that funnels them into narrow avenues of behavior. For example, adults have relatively few socially acceptable ways of playing outside of sports. I think that is one reason for the growing preponderance of video games.
If you are reading this and you have an alternate definition of these words that you think is more useful, I would like to see it. Please share it with me.
Violence is any action or behavior of any size that is performed out of a feeling of powerlessness. It is that which is done when a person has nothing else they feel they can do. It can come it the form of passing thoughts toward oneself or others, or it can be words, or physical actions. Violence is usually in the form of an attack, and it is different from aggression.
Aggression is the display of power, active movement in the world. Violence is faux-aggression, an admission of weakness on the part of the perpetrator. It carries a thrill with it, a rush of release, which is the pressure of the negative feelings releasing temporarily, but it is a temporary, hollow sensation. Truly strong people have no need of violence; they may act aggressively in the world, and they may defend themselves from violence, but it is quite a different kind of behavior.
Things like fighting or wrestling may or may not be violent depending on the emotional place where it comes from. They may be play, or a display of dominance, which are aggressive, but they only become violent when the person feels that they must hurt the other to preserve their own identity.
By this definition, violence is relatively rare in the animal kingdom. A lion killing a gazelle is not an act of violence; it is the aggressive nature of the creature. Humans hunting and killing in the same way is not violent, although I have reservations against the activity when done for sport. Fighting between animals is usually an aggressive display, and rarely does it become violent.
I realize that many people may not agree with this definition. I think it is important to distinguish between aggression and violence, because humans are aggressive creatures, and this is something we should respect about ourselves, but I do not think that we are by nature violent creatures. Violence is the result of an unnatural way of living, a way that does not acknowledge our natural aggressive needs, or that funnels them into narrow avenues of behavior. For example, adults have relatively few socially acceptable ways of playing outside of sports. I think that is one reason for the growing preponderance of video games.
If you are reading this and you have an alternate definition of these words that you think is more useful, I would like to see it. Please share it with me.
2009年9月13日日曜日
Werewolf Game
This was amusing; a short diversion. おもしろかったよ。ちょっとスプラッターけいだけど。
http://www.kongregate.com/games/weremsoft/vox-populi-vox-dei-a-werewolf-thriller
http://www.kongregate.com/games/weremsoft/vox-populi-vox-dei-a-werewolf-thriller
2009年9月12日土曜日
On Trust
Yesterday, my student asked me how to best remember all the words she has to memorize. It's a fairly common question, and one she has asked before periodically. It's a little hard to answer. How do you remember things? Well, you just do it. But that's not a helpful reply.
I talked to her a little about learning modalities, visual, auditory and kinesthetic ways that people have of organizing their experience. People usually focus in one of these more strongly than the others, thinking in pictures, in sounds or in feelings. For the best, most resilient results, it's good to combine as many as possible. I told her to look at the word, the spelling, the shape of it and to equate it with the Japanese meaning. I told her to also visualize the meaning, the object or idea the word symbolizes and to connect them. I told her to repeat the word in her head, and aloud, and to write it on paper, and then to write it with her finger on her hand, and to put the word on some part of her body, so she would always have it on her.
I also explained how to break words into components, roots and affixes, to hold onto the meaning that way. But as I was saying all this, knowing that it was good advice, I realized it wasn't enough.
"You have to trust yourself. You have to trust that you have the ability to remember, that you can do it, even if it takes many tries." I realized that this was key. It surprised her, because I don't think anyone had ever shared such an idea with her before, but she agreed that it was important.
But even as we talked about it, I realized that it wasn't enough either. It's not enough to say you trust yourself if you remain untrustworthy. Trust is something that you earn, isn't that what we say? It's a commodity, something we pay out to people, a line of credit.
People complain that schools are so concerned with fostering self-esteem in their students, that they pile praise on everyone for everything, whether it's warranted or not. It's a trust that has not been earned, at least not by the standards of the world outside of school. This is somewhat beside my point.
I told her to trust herself, and then to earn that trust by doing the work that needed to be done. Perhaps that is so obvious that it doesn't need to be said, but it feels profound to me. "I trust myself," is something I have told myself many times, reassuringly in times of trial, but in that moment I realized that I often don't live up to my own ideals, and that I often don't really try to. Is that because I don't trust myself, or because I haven't earned my own trust? Are they even separable? It is not so simple an issue. I trust myself with certain things, and not at all with others, like alcohol. Other things I go back and forth on. It's a deep and interesting question that I shall be pursuing for a while.
The one thing I don't think is really useful is the capitalist metaphor of trust as commodity. I'm trying to think of another one that may be more comfortable. Rather than something bought and sold, or earned and squandered, perhaps it is more a bond, or a bridge that is built through a relationship, and then maintained or sabotaged, or left to decay.
We say that one, too: build trust. Building and earning imply entirely different relationships. Perhaps it is an ore that is mined, shaped and polished with care, or tarnished through misuse. Forge trust: I think we use that one, too.
Trust is a dance, trust is a fine meal, trust is a wave to a daring surfer. Or something like that.
I talked to her a little about learning modalities, visual, auditory and kinesthetic ways that people have of organizing their experience. People usually focus in one of these more strongly than the others, thinking in pictures, in sounds or in feelings. For the best, most resilient results, it's good to combine as many as possible. I told her to look at the word, the spelling, the shape of it and to equate it with the Japanese meaning. I told her to also visualize the meaning, the object or idea the word symbolizes and to connect them. I told her to repeat the word in her head, and aloud, and to write it on paper, and then to write it with her finger on her hand, and to put the word on some part of her body, so she would always have it on her.
I also explained how to break words into components, roots and affixes, to hold onto the meaning that way. But as I was saying all this, knowing that it was good advice, I realized it wasn't enough.
"You have to trust yourself. You have to trust that you have the ability to remember, that you can do it, even if it takes many tries." I realized that this was key. It surprised her, because I don't think anyone had ever shared such an idea with her before, but she agreed that it was important.
But even as we talked about it, I realized that it wasn't enough either. It's not enough to say you trust yourself if you remain untrustworthy. Trust is something that you earn, isn't that what we say? It's a commodity, something we pay out to people, a line of credit.
People complain that schools are so concerned with fostering self-esteem in their students, that they pile praise on everyone for everything, whether it's warranted or not. It's a trust that has not been earned, at least not by the standards of the world outside of school. This is somewhat beside my point.
I told her to trust herself, and then to earn that trust by doing the work that needed to be done. Perhaps that is so obvious that it doesn't need to be said, but it feels profound to me. "I trust myself," is something I have told myself many times, reassuringly in times of trial, but in that moment I realized that I often don't live up to my own ideals, and that I often don't really try to. Is that because I don't trust myself, or because I haven't earned my own trust? Are they even separable? It is not so simple an issue. I trust myself with certain things, and not at all with others, like alcohol. Other things I go back and forth on. It's a deep and interesting question that I shall be pursuing for a while.
The one thing I don't think is really useful is the capitalist metaphor of trust as commodity. I'm trying to think of another one that may be more comfortable. Rather than something bought and sold, or earned and squandered, perhaps it is more a bond, or a bridge that is built through a relationship, and then maintained or sabotaged, or left to decay.
We say that one, too: build trust. Building and earning imply entirely different relationships. Perhaps it is an ore that is mined, shaped and polished with care, or tarnished through misuse. Forge trust: I think we use that one, too.
Trust is a dance, trust is a fine meal, trust is a wave to a daring surfer. Or something like that.
2009年9月11日金曜日
2009年9月9日水曜日
The Mystery of Grammar
文法って何?
知りたいと思ったことがある?
いちおう「はい」と言って。日本の学校で英語を勉強すると言ったら実は英語の文法を勉強するという意味です。だから文法の定義がわからなければ、なにを勉強していることがわからなくなる。
人間は言葉を使う動物です。どんな国の人でも言葉を話す。もしある国の子供が別の国に育てられれば、自然にまわりの言葉を話せるようになる。子供は無意識にする、でも大人はまだ出来る。努力が必要だけです。
だから、文法って?まぁ、言葉を話す皆さんは脳の中にそのことばのパターンを持っている。単語の使い方とか、言いたい事の言い方とかが全部ある。自分で全然気づかないままで毎日一日中使っている。この柄は文法…ではない。
言葉の使い方は人間には大切なことです。言葉は人柄の大きな示し方です。よくきになる。だから、「ただし」使い方をわかるために地図を作った。この言葉はこういうふうにいくんだ。質問を聞きたいとき、こうやってできる。断りたいとき、そうやってできる。そのパターンを研究して、言葉の地図を作って、文法という物が生まれました。ニコ＾＿＾＊
我々の言葉を説明するために作った文法は素晴らしい発明です。とても役に立つ。でも、どんな地図のように、文法は言葉じゃないです。言葉の型です。
もし地域の地図を勉強すればいろいろな事を習えるけど、その本当の地域に本当に行くと地図と合わないところがあるんです。当然です。そのように、どんなに詳しく文法を勉強しても、本当に言葉を使うと、合わない事があるはず。言葉を習いたければ、話すしかない。
文法は価値がある。立派な物です。大好きで、文法と浮気したい。だけど、言葉を習うには、文法はただ一つのみちです。というか、一つの道具です。隠喩がぐちゃぐちゃになちゃう。
地図を地域だと思わないで。もし学校で習った英語の文法がいやがったら、英語のせいにしないで。別のものだから。それに、こういう考え方でまた見てみれば、印象が変わるかもしれない。
知りたいと思ったことがある?
いちおう「はい」と言って。日本の学校で英語を勉強すると言ったら実は英語の文法を勉強するという意味です。だから文法の定義がわからなければ、なにを勉強していることがわからなくなる。
人間は言葉を使う動物です。どんな国の人でも言葉を話す。もしある国の子供が別の国に育てられれば、自然にまわりの言葉を話せるようになる。子供は無意識にする、でも大人はまだ出来る。努力が必要だけです。
だから、文法って?まぁ、言葉を話す皆さんは脳の中にそのことばのパターンを持っている。単語の使い方とか、言いたい事の言い方とかが全部ある。自分で全然気づかないままで毎日一日中使っている。この柄は文法…ではない。
言葉の使い方は人間には大切なことです。言葉は人柄の大きな示し方です。よくきになる。だから、「ただし」使い方をわかるために地図を作った。この言葉はこういうふうにいくんだ。質問を聞きたいとき、こうやってできる。断りたいとき、そうやってできる。そのパターンを研究して、言葉の地図を作って、文法という物が生まれました。ニコ＾＿＾＊
我々の言葉を説明するために作った文法は素晴らしい発明です。とても役に立つ。でも、どんな地図のように、文法は言葉じゃないです。言葉の型です。
もし地域の地図を勉強すればいろいろな事を習えるけど、その本当の地域に本当に行くと地図と合わないところがあるんです。当然です。そのように、どんなに詳しく文法を勉強しても、本当に言葉を使うと、合わない事があるはず。言葉を習いたければ、話すしかない。
文法は価値がある。立派な物です。大好きで、文法と浮気したい。だけど、言葉を習うには、文法はただ一つのみちです。というか、一つの道具です。隠喩がぐちゃぐちゃになちゃう。
地図を地域だと思わないで。もし学校で習った英語の文法がいやがったら、英語のせいにしないで。別のものだから。それに、こういう考え方でまた見てみれば、印象が変わるかもしれない。
2009年9月7日月曜日
The First Passage
was discovered in '23 when a local man reported a howling sound among the rocks at Efil Gorge along a barren stretch of the Grenik Highway. The man had been going after a stray animal when he heard the noise and reported it to the information division who referred it to our office. Professor Jeffreies was in charge of the survey of the area and made a note to investigate. On the morning of the 14th of October, Jefferies and a small crew approached and spent an hour searching for possible sources of the reported sound. An assistant displaced some stones while manuevering on the slope and revealed a small opening that was connected to the greater shaft. The party worked together to clear the opening, which was discovered to be an artificial stone-reinforced conduit, rectangular with a height of 3.13 ft. and a width of 5.76 ft. After the initial excavation cleared the way, Professor Jeffreys entered and progressed along the conduit for approx. 17 yards, at which point the conduit joined the much larger passage designated "1". It was at this point also that the book (Artifact 1A) was discovered by Professor Geoffereies. Retrieving the journal, Jefries returned to the entrance. The writing of the book is exactly as is written here in this document, which is a perfect copy. THE END
2009年9月6日日曜日
2009年9月5日土曜日
Deadly Rooms of Death
This is one of the best games of all time, one of my favorites, and I recommend it to anyone who likes a challenge, because it certainly is one:
http://forum.caravelgames.com/downloads.php
The Architect's Edition is free, though the graphics are pretty old. The Game remains the same, though.
http://forum.caravelgames.com/downloads.php
The Architect's Edition is free, though the graphics are pretty old. The Game remains the same, though.
linux
前のポストは話的だったからちょっと違うのをしてみる。
今うちのパソコンはリニックスのミントというOSをつかっています。日本語でうつのはできるけど、いまのソフトはSCIMというもので時々変な字が出てしまって、気づかないときがあります。リニックスはWindowsよりとてもいいと思うんですが、まだなれていない。いいところは山ほどある、例えば、無料だけではなく、安全と安定です。ウイルスとかはほとんどきかない、だからウイルススカンナーはいらない。ソフトもだいたい無料です。作っている人々はオタクで自分の楽しみややる気でやっているらしい。問題はやる気が使いきったら、もサポートしなくなる。でも私の経験で(2ヶ月間）それはあまり問題ではない。
マイナス面もあります。Windowsソフトはあまり使えないことが大きいと思う。わしの大好きなWordPerfectワープロがうまくうごかない（泣）それにもし私のようなゲーマーだったら困る可能性が高いかもしれない。もちろんマルチブートしているんですが、人によって面倒くさいかもしれない。
前のパソコンは色々な問題があって、リニックスに変えてよかった。まだ不慣れだから不安は時々あるけど、Windowsと比べれば、こっちのほうがずっといい。
今うちのパソコンはリニックスのミントというOSをつかっています。日本語でうつのはできるけど、いまのソフトはSCIMというもので時々変な字が出てしまって、気づかないときがあります。リニックスはWindowsよりとてもいいと思うんですが、まだなれていない。いいところは山ほどある、例えば、無料だけではなく、安全と安定です。ウイルスとかはほとんどきかない、だからウイルススカンナーはいらない。ソフトもだいたい無料です。作っている人々はオタクで自分の楽しみややる気でやっているらしい。問題はやる気が使いきったら、もサポートしなくなる。でも私の経験で(2ヶ月間）それはあまり問題ではない。
マイナス面もあります。Windowsソフトはあまり使えないことが大きいと思う。わしの大好きなWordPerfectワープロがうまくうごかない（泣）それにもし私のようなゲーマーだったら困る可能性が高いかもしれない。もちろんマルチブートしているんですが、人によって面倒くさいかもしれない。
前のパソコンは色々な問題があって、リニックスに変えてよかった。まだ不慣れだから不安は時々あるけど、Windowsと比べれば、こっちのほうがずっといい。
2009年9月4日金曜日
The Expert
"Yes, I'll come. I'll be there at 7:30." You could tell she was smiling when she said it. And maybe she meant it at the time. But when 7:58 came around and I was still sitting there, waiting, I couldn't help but begin to question. I had been betrayed, or let down rather, before.
I was taking notes on the pad of paper that I always carry, writing down some ideas for a new TV program my company was working on, when someone sat down at my table and reached for the water glass. I looked up, expecting her to be there, grinning and apologetic, and I was prepared to forget the whole thing and go on with the evening, but it wasn't her. It was the Expert.
He was not impressed with me. In fact, he gave a small snort when I looked at him, as if to say, "Look at yourself: what else do you expect?"
"Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"
"I'm enjoying a glass of water."
"Well, could you do it somewhere else? I'm expecting company."
"Of course you are. What else would you be doing on a Friday night? Expecting company, not enjoying it. You are a thoroughly uninteresting person. It's no wonder you're only expecting company." His gaze was the most insolent thing I'd seen all week. "But it doesn't have to be that way."
"What? Are you selling something? Piss off."
"She's not going to come."
"And how do you know that?"
The Expert looked so very clever just then, like a ten-year-old boy who has just done the most brilliant mischief and is waiting for you to find it. He crunched on a bit of ice, then leaned forward and whispered: "Because I have her tied up in my trunk!"
"No, really, piss off!" He was really making me angry.
"You don't believe me? Well, you'll find out." He took a sip of water, then leaned forward again. "No, I'm just kidding. It's just a joke, you know. Look: here she comes now."
I looked, but no one was there.
"See? I told you, it's a joke!" He laughed a little too hard.
I was taking notes on the pad of paper that I always carry, writing down some ideas for a new TV program my company was working on, when someone sat down at my table and reached for the water glass. I looked up, expecting her to be there, grinning and apologetic, and I was prepared to forget the whole thing and go on with the evening, but it wasn't her. It was the Expert.
He was not impressed with me. In fact, he gave a small snort when I looked at him, as if to say, "Look at yourself: what else do you expect?"
"Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?"
"I'm enjoying a glass of water."
"Well, could you do it somewhere else? I'm expecting company."
"Of course you are. What else would you be doing on a Friday night? Expecting company, not enjoying it. You are a thoroughly uninteresting person. It's no wonder you're only expecting company." His gaze was the most insolent thing I'd seen all week. "But it doesn't have to be that way."
"What? Are you selling something? Piss off."
"She's not going to come."
"And how do you know that?"
The Expert looked so very clever just then, like a ten-year-old boy who has just done the most brilliant mischief and is waiting for you to find it. He crunched on a bit of ice, then leaned forward and whispered: "Because I have her tied up in my trunk!"
"No, really, piss off!" He was really making me angry.
"You don't believe me? Well, you'll find out." He took a sip of water, then leaned forward again. "No, I'm just kidding. It's just a joke, you know. Look: here she comes now."
I looked, but no one was there.
"See? I told you, it's a joke!" He laughed a little too hard.
2009年9月3日木曜日
はじめまして
I thought I would give this a try. There are things that I want to say, and I thought that this might be a way that I could do that. I might not say them well, but I will try to refine both my thoughts and my style of writing to make something at least amusing.
やってみようとおもった。言いたいことがあるから、ブログで書くのは一つのやり方だろう。上手く書けないかもしれないが、自分の考え方も書き方も磨いて、すくなくても面白いはなしを出すつもりでいる。ばかばかしいことが多いだろう。よろしくおねがいします。
どれぐらい書くかまだわからないですが、今の目標は毎日何かをポストしようと思っています。日記として使うつもりではなく、自分のはなしとか、意見とかを書こうと思っています。一つの手は、毎日五分できるだけ早く書いて、そのまま出すことが可能です。英語でも日本語でも書きます。私の練習になります。
So let's see what happens. It may be more fun than either of us expects. Or maybe not, you never know.
やってみようとおもった。言いたいことがあるから、ブログで書くのは一つのやり方だろう。上手く書けないかもしれないが、自分の考え方も書き方も磨いて、すくなくても面白いはなしを出すつもりでいる。ばかばかしいことが多いだろう。よろしくおねがいします。
どれぐらい書くかまだわからないですが、今の目標は毎日何かをポストしようと思っています。日記として使うつもりではなく、自分のはなしとか、意見とかを書こうと思っています。一つの手は、毎日五分できるだけ早く書いて、そのまま出すことが可能です。英語でも日本語でも書きます。私の練習になります。
So let's see what happens. It may be more fun than either of us expects. Or maybe not, you never know.
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